My dad’s health was declining, and I knew I needed to visit him in Florida while I could.
When I got to his condo, I noticed my brother and his wife, sitting nearby. I approached them with my blue “Who I Am Makes A DIfference” blue ribbon, and they shooed me off. They didn’t feel comfortable. Especially because it seemed silly, inconsequential, unnecessary.
Everyone was in such a somber mood. My dad wasn’t talking anymore.. He just responded to questions with a “yes” or “no.” I wanted to get the group smiling. I keep a stack of blue ribbons in my purse to lighten people’s spirits, and I definintely wanted to use them with their permission.
I turned to the caregiver, hovering beside my dad. She allowed me to honor her with this ribbon, a globally recognized tool to unite humanity through the power of love. She listened to me, as I acknowledged her kindness, compassion and dedication to my dad. I spoke freely from my heart, and her eyes brimmed with tears.
“You’re going to meke me cry,” she said. I smiled as I placed the ribbon above her heart.
I then turned to my dad’s wife, Hana, who had been my dad’s loving companion ever since my mom passed away so suddenly. Hana’s smile was so bright as I honored her. As I placed the ribbon over her heart, she exclaimed, “You made my day!”
Then it was time to honor my dad. I leaned close to him in his wheelchair, and showed him the blue ribbon. His eyes followed me intently.
“I have a gift for you,” I said. “It’s a blue ribbon that says, “Who I Am Makes A Difference.” Then I started reflecting about why he meant so much to me.
In my mind, I was remembering the year after my mom passed, and my dad had gone mentally off-balance. His anger was at himself, but he couldn’t face those recriminations, so my husband and I became scapegoats. Dad and I didn’t speak for at least a year. Forgiveness took time. Yet the sadness remained etched into his face. Hana had been a blessing to ease his pain. I didn’t want to dwell on those unhappy times.
So I focused on the good he did for me: supporting our family, caring for me as I grew up, taking me to Riverview when I was small. I asked if he’d accept my gift, and he nodded “yes.” He heard every word.
“May I have permission to place it on you?” He nodded “yes” again.
We both knew that love was the most important thing to remember. As I gently secured the ribbon over his heart, a small tear fell from his eye, sliding down his cheek. Everything was still. Dad motioned with his hand, beckoning me to move even closer.
With a great deal of effort, he spoke in a raspy, whispery, slow voice – “May I – kiss your – cheek?”
“Of course,” I answered softly. Dad’s head leaned towards me. In that instant of his kiss on my cheek, I was thinking – this might be the last time I ever see my dad again. A wave of sadness swept over me.
Yet in almost the same instant, another thought arose. If that’s the case, I’ll be glad that I have this memory – of honoring dad.
I then kissed dad’s cheek too. For a minute, we were swept up in a timeless love. No words needed to be spoken. I mentally took a picture of that moment, savoring the sweetness of just us together.
Over the year, my dad’s health worsened. Before I could catch a flight out to Florida, he passed away… alone in the hospital due to Covid. My brother Mark was able to sneak into his room just once, to see him for a few minutes. By that time, my dad was mainly unconscious.
In that final week, I was so sad that I didn’t get to see dad again. I felt some consolation in knowing that at least we shared a precious memory. That moment of us wrapped in a cocoon of memories filled with love. I’ll never forget it.
“Who I Am Makes A Difference” Blue Ribbons have touched over 50 million people worldwide in 12 languages, and the mission is to reach one billion people. Most people are never honored for simply being who they are. It takes just a minute to honor someone and uplift their life. The ribbon has even saved lives.
It certainly made a difference for my dad and me. A final tribute to my his life. And my acknowledgement of gratitude.
For those who want to learn more about this amazing empowerment tool, visit: https://blueribbons.org.
You may never realize the power of your words… or the power of a “Who I Am Makes A DIfference” blue ribbon unless you go out of your comfort zone, and decide to honor someone. It can make all the difference in your life.
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