by Lynn Sanders | Jun 4, 2018 | DMM Blog
“The shortest and surest way to live with honor in the world is to be in reality what we would appear to be.” Socrates, Greek philosopher (469-399 BC)
You’re about to get the inside scoop on building relationships that can change how you do business forever. It all comes down to understanding “The Eight Pillars of Trust.” If you want to learn more, check out author David Horsager’s book, The Trust Edge.
Face it, trust is the foundation for ANY relationship we create.
Last week, I shared the first pillar of trust – Clarity. People trust a clear message from you, and mistrust the ambiguous. Now, let’s move ahead…
PILLAR 2: Compassion
Here’s the bottom line is – to build trust, you’ve got to really care about people.
Horsager explains that you need to not only “walk in someone else’s shoes” but also be continually acting on the principle, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Ultimately, having compassion means putting the interests of people first. Adam Smith, the father of modern economics, acknowledged that “profit is the reward one gets for serving the general welfare.”
Being compassionate relies on four “Laws” – Listen, Appreciate, Wake up and Serve others. Now, let’s take a quick look at the essence of these four laws.
Listening is a skill. It makes people feel valued. So, let’s listen to each other. (That means keeping eye contact… Turning off cell phones…and paying attention to what others say to you.)
Naturally, everyone yearns to feel appreciated and recognized too. (Consider doing special things to show appreciation: sending a handwritten note.. a gift basket… giving praise… celebrating accomplishments.)
We’ve also got to WAKE UP! (Notice I used all capital letters… to make sure you take notice!) Many of us go through the motions of life, without being engaged with others. We’re living in the future or past. But time is ticking away right now. So, let’s be “present” with the people around us. What if we could wake up to this very moment?
Serving others means thinking beyond ourselves. In order to be trusted, Horsager says we need to act selflessly. Keep the great leaders of our world in mind — Abraham Lincoln, Mother Tersa, Martin Luther King, Jr…. They were trusted because they put the interests of others first.
PILLAR 3: Character
What is your inner core made of? Does your message and life reflect the same story? Do you do what you say?
Our character is reflected through our integrity. Are we consistent in thoughts, words and actions? Do we follow through on our promises?
The other side of character is having high moral standards. Most people perceive a basic sense of right and wrong. Beyond that, research demonstrates that those who live a strong moral compass have the trust and admiration of those around them, paving the way to success.
What’s the key to a high character?
Carol Odell, CEO of the BBB of Southern Colorado advises, “Know your values, and make your decisions by them.
PILLAR 4: Competency
In every action, trust is a part of competency and capability.
“The only thing more expensive than education is ignorance,” says Benjamin Frankin.
What did Franklin mean? To me, he is advising that we must always be learning. We’re never done. We’re always in that state of becoming…. like the butterfly who transforms from her debut as a caterpillar and becomes a butterfly. We too must keep growing through education.
To become our best, we must be open to advice from those who’ve already walked on our path. Decide to move ahead truthfully. Be accountable to followers. Give value to your clients and followers. They will gladly reinforce your message across their circles.
As you build your integrity, you’ll be recognized as a trustworthy character who people can always rely upon. There’s nothing better than that.
Join me next week as we continue exploring the rest of the Eight Pillars of Trust. Till then, keep in mind: Our life is filled with choices. Choose well!
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To learn more about making a bigger difference through sharing your stories online, contact Lynn Sanders, The Story Marketing Mentor, at: Lynn@https://differencemakersmedia.com. Thank you!
by Lynn Sanders | Jun 4, 2018 | DMM Blog
Trust, not money, is the currency of business and life.” David Horsager, author, “The Trust Edge.”
We’re all affected by a crisis right now. It touches every corner of the world. It hits our senses on an everyday basis. It shakes us at our core. In one word, it’s TRUST!
Who can we trust? In today’s world, we don’t know anymore. However, we can gain invauable insights from David Horsager, author of “The Trust Edge.” I heard Horsager speak at a business conference several years ago, and loved his book. It’s more relevant than ever, so I’m re-reading this gem and recommend it to you too.
“In 2009 at the World Economic Forum in China, world leaders got it right when they declared that our biggest crisis is a lack of trust and confidence,” said Horsager.
That was eight years ago! How do you feel about the level of trust in our country now?
I believe we’ve plummeted to the lowest depths ever! The national uncertainty around trust has gotten so bad that a new board game was just created, “Fake News, Real News.” I watched a demonstration of this game on TV news recently. The game involves attempting to recognize if certain quotes from today’s government officials are actually true or false. Quite often, even the savvy on-air team didn’t know the answer. UNREAL! The TV segment demonstrates a sad truth. We don’t know who to trust anymore!
“People like to do business with those they know, like and TRUST,” says business leader Bob Burg.
So who do we trust? How do we create trust? What can we do to build trust?
To be trustworthy in today’s world takes work. We have to earn trust by everything we do, say and intend. We must be extremely vigilant in keeping our word.
“The Trust Edge” could easily serve as the new business Bible. It’s overflowing with wisdom. This book makes you think about how you conduct your own behavior. I’m sensitive about the issue of trust because of my personal history. Over a decade ago, I was the victim of a scam during a video project with a producer. I worked with this man for a year. I had TRUSTED him! How could he lie to me? I was so naive and shocked. Once I realized our money was lost, the impact was devastating!
How could I move forward and trust again? How could my husband cope? I had to forgive myself. Gradually, I recovered. I found excellent advice in Horsager’s book.
Horsager says, “To become successful in life, we need to develop the “Trust Edge.”
He explains that The Trust Edge is the competitive advantage gained when others confidently believe in you.
Based on extensive research, Horsager advises people to build eight pillars of trust. He recognizes that trust is the natural result of thousands of tiny actions, words, thoughts and intentions. These eight pillars of trust reflect the key traits of successful business leaders.
Yes. Give me some time to connect it. In the meantime, do not jump to rethink your strategy. We’ll talk about it.
Let’s explore the first pillar now. I’ll share more in future articles.
The Eight Pillars Of Trust
PILLAR 1: CLARITY – “People trust the clear and distrust the ambiguous.”
Clarity gives focus on daily tasks.
Clarity can reduce conflict within your staff and with customers.
Those who are trusted are candid and are not afraid to tell the truth.
Horsager suggests that while we post our mission statement on a mirror, we need to create goals and daily, action-oriented tasks to achieve that mission. Here’s a wonderful story about Charles Schwab, the first American who was paid a $1 million salary.
“In the early 1900’s, Schwab was president of the Bethlehem Steel Company. The small steel company was struggling. A business consultant, Ivy Lee, told Schwab that in fifteen minutes, he could share with Schwab’s managers a strategy that would double productivity.
When Schwab inquired about a price for this help, Lee said, ‘After using it for six months, you can pay me what you think it’s worth.’ Here’s what Ivy Lee told Charles Schwab and his managers:
“Every night, at the end of each day, write down the six most important things that need to get done the next day. Write only six, no more. Prioritize them, with number one being the most important. In the morning, start with number one and do only number one until it is completed.” Follow the same procedure with the rest of your list. If you’re done, create a new list.
“After a few months, Lee received an envelope from the Bethlehem Steel Company. Inside the envelope was a check for $25,000. (Equal to $250,000 in today’s dollars!) The note from Schwab said the lesson was the most profitable he had ever learned! That voluntary payment was quite a bargain, considering that Bethlehem Steel went on to become one of the most profitable corporations in U.S. history.”
Now — it’s your turn to build clarity in your business.
- Practice empathy.
- Instead of using “you” language — as in “You always” or “I wish you wouldn’t do that,” use the word, “I.” It takes people off the defensive and allows you to express yourself more clearly.
- Be laser focused each day, and see what happens!
by Lynn Sanders | Jun 4, 2018 | DMM Blog
Let’s face it.
Most people ignore a delightful way to express themselves.
You may consider it to be as breathtaking as a glorious sunset. As amusing as a giggling toddler at the beach. As satisfying as warming your bones inside after shoveling snow in zero degree weather. What am I referring to? (Have you guessed?) POETRY!
I urge you, dear writers and readers… let’s keep poetry ALIVE!
Yes, it’s still out there… You can still feel it resounding in the rap music of the new musical, “Hamilton.” It’s still heard in countless musicals. And young children still enjoy feeling the joy of poetry in nursery rhymes and camp songs.
Poetry can be captivating. It can speak to our soul. But how many of us use poetry to share our thoughts and emotions? How many read a poem or two on occasion? How many even own a book of poetry?
As an elementary student in Chicago, my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Fogg, read to us regularly from “Time For Poetry.” The poems delighted me so much that I begged my mom tobuy the book. I was thrilled when my own copy arrived! I memorized enchanting poems like, “The Pirate Don Dirk of Dowdee…” or “The Owl And The Pussycat.” Just saying words that rhymed or flowed in a rhythm felt incredibly exciting.
From an early age, I began writing my own poems. I eventually gathered my favorites into a manuscript, “Diary Of A Girl.” While that collection has never been published (yet!), a number of the poems were printed in journals. Several won honorable mention and recognition. My biggest award was a whopping cash prize of $5.00! (Poetry may not be lucrative, but it’s fun.)
You don’t have to be the next Emily Dickinson or Robert Frost. You can be YOU – sharing your stories, reflections or feelings in a new way. Study other poets and you’ll get a few ideas.
In “Writing Down The Bones,” Natalie Goldberg offers great advice and writing tips that could be applied to poetry. Here’s a fun exercise….
- Fold a paper in half (the long way), and list ten nouns on the left column.
- Turn the paper over to the right column. Think of an occupation, and list fifteen verbs that go with that position.
- Open the page and you’ll see nouns on the left and verbs on the right. Try joining the nouns with the verbs to see what new combinations you get.
- Finish the sentences, casting the verbs in the past tense, if youneed to.
- Examples: “The lilacs sliced the sky into purple.” Or — “Dinosaurs marinate in the earth.” Or – “The fiddles boiled the air with their music.”
Here’s a poem I wrote after a call to my parents. I pictured the long telephone cord (before cell phones) like an umbilical cord. I hope this gives you a few ideas…
Long Distance Call
It’s Father’s Day and despite playful mayhem
Surrounding my husband and mischievous son,
I wait for the ringing…
How strong the umbilical cord of love,
Connecting miles hundreds of memories long
To mom and dad.
Years rise and fall in a few minutes:
Sunday with dad at Riverview,
Mom’s gentle patience as we shopped on 87th street…
(nothing ever seemed to fit right!)
Strawberry sundaes and skies bursting with blue,
Bedtime stories unraveling in wondrous detail.
Growing up was a forever process.
Now, we speak about trivial details,
Signifying nothing but meaning everything.
Yearnings come in like the tide,
Unexpected but always pulling.
Holding the phone cradles us once more
In that summer of our lives
When we kids begged for ten-cent ice cream bars.
P.S. To learn more about bringing your stories to life, I invite you to schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation. Visit: http://bit.ly/Lynn-Calendar
by Lynn Sanders | Jun 4, 2018 | DMM Blog
I’d like to encourage you, dear readers and writers, to consider dabbling in poetry.
Poetry offers you a way to express your inner thoughts, feelings and ideas in a simple, concentrated way. You can choose to rhyme or write in free verse. You can say outlandish things, and make comparisons that are elegant, funny or strange. As I mentioned in an earlier article, you can even write poems as a tribute to a loved one.
I think writing poetry is a lot less intimidating than writing a story. You can face the blank page with a smile because a poem doesn’t have to be long. It doesn’t need complex characters, an intriguing plot or a cliff-hanger ending. A poem can be whatever you want it to be… and be done within a few minutes!
You can design words on the page. You don’t have to use capital letters. And you can leave space for contemplation. You Can EvEn Do SilLy STuFF! (If you want…)
For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved to jot down thoughts and feelings into poetry. The following poem, “you and i” was written in tribute to one of my dearest highschool friends, Nancy Slawin Kalita. We used to have sleepovers at each other’s homes, wake up at dawn, and then ride our bikes on wonderful adventures together.
As the years passed, Nancy and I stayed in touch. Unfortunately, on November 1st, 2004, Nancy passed away suddenly from an unexpected heart attack. But her spirit — with her magical laughter — will always stay with me. Here’s a snapshot from our days together…
you and i
I met you on a cold rainy day
When the wind was howling
And the pavement was wet.
Somehow it didn’t matter.
We found a dry spot under the trees
And then the sun stopped crying.
You had your lunch and I had mine
And we shared.
We found an old bicycle built for two
And we rode right into the middle of town
Singing out loud.
We laughed a lot and a lot,
You and I,
I and you,
And we couldn’t stop smiling.
I showed you my secret hiding place
And gave you a lucky penny
Fresh from the ground.
We bought ice cream cones
And had a running race.
You won and I was happy.
And that was our first day together.
by Lynn Sanders | Jun 4, 2018 | DMM Blog
“Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this notion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us.” — Wilma Rudolph
Imagine you’re not who you think you are.
What if you’re actually much greater than you’ve imagined? You’re a witty conversationalist, an insightful, award-winning writer, an incredibly talented (Fill in the blank)…. But you never even realized it before!
Why can’t you be that person you’d like to be?
I urge you to believe in yourself. The older I get, the more I realize how many of us play small in life. We allow ourselves to live inside compartments of what we can or can’t do. But we can always do much more!
Let me give you a simple example. I’ve recently made a wonderful friend at GoRead: Renee Mollan-Masters. Renee is the author of the soon-to-be-published best-seller, “The Friendship Pod Affair,” and plans are already in process for an online movie. Thanks to our soul connection, a friendship sparked immediately.
During a conversation, Renee asked me a simple question that surprised me.
“Would you like to write a friendship song for my movie?”
Could I? Dare I? Would I be good enough? (Ooooh – that flurry of self-doubt came bubbling up!)
Given that I’ve been playing piano as long as I could write words, and teach a revolutionary method, Simply Music Piano, which includes improvising and composing, I’m getting accustomed to stretching my composing muscles lately. So I found myself answering Renee…
“Sure, I’d love to!”
Since I’m paid for bringing stories to life through writing, video and interviews, and have never been paid for composing, I offered to create a song without charge. I figured if Renee likes it and uses the song, we’ll work out a compensation. That reduces my anxiety about being “good enough” and actually allows me to be more creative.
As I began composing “Being Friends” on the piano, my mind started opening to even more possibilities. By saying “yes” to Renee, I got inspired to write a second song for my upcoming children’s book presentation at our local bookstore.
My second song, “Keep Your Dreams Alive!” is the essence behind my true children’s story, “Dancing With Tex,” The message behind my book is — we ALL must have faith, belief and perseverance to keep our dreams alive!
For whatever reason, my mind quickly came up with music and lyrics. They just flowed right through me! It was as if I was taking dictation from above. I believe we all can tap into the creative energy field when we believe in ourselves.
Think about it. Must we play small in life?
Do we have to live within our limited thinking? Can we move beyond our inner broken record of, “I can’t do this…. I’m not good at …. I don’t have any talent for…”
WHY must we live with low self-esteem? Let’s start repeating positive affirmations….
Here are a few examples:
- “I’m an international best-selling author, selling over 2 millions books every year.
- “I’m earning _______/every month;”
- “I’m helping my clients attract $100,000 in funding support.”
I dare you. What if – you give yourself permission to step outside your “box?” Take action on your dreams. Fail forward. Don’t let it stop you. Keep taking action. Eventually, you WILL get to your destination.
It’s simply a matter of having faith, belief and perseverance.
KEEP YOUR DREAMS ALIVE!
P.S. I decided to be VERY daring! I just recorded my song on guitar, “Keep Your Dreams Alive.” This is a first for me — recording my own song, and I did itt for you! Although I’m not a professional singer, I thought this might be a fun way for me to step outside my comfort zone. If you click on the link — “Keep Your Dreams Alive” in my article, you can hear the song yourself! Enjoy!
